2005 World Trip Asian Leg
Posted July 15th, 2012 at 10:10 PM by Lawnmowerman
Updated July 15th, 2012 at 10:22 PM by Lawnmowerman
Updated July 15th, 2012 at 10:22 PM by Lawnmowerman
Well been in Thailand for 2 days now loving it.
Been having all sorts of adventures, slept most of the flight over. When i
got off the plane some idiot grabbed my luggage instead of thiers. As a
result i had to stay in the same clothes couldn't shower or go out for my
first few hours as i had to wait in the hotel for the idiot to realise that
he had the wrong bag and then return it to the hotel. Which he eventually
did thank God. When i was walking around met a very friendly guy think he
was a con artist but he showed me around a bit before offering to sell me
real emeralds and rubies (polished glass) at discount prices. I just laughed
and walked away He did take me around a bit first showed me some cool
temples the "Lucky Budda" being one.
Then i took a Took-took to the local markets trying to find sunnies and a
watch to no avail was tempted by a big bowl full of crisp freid grasshoppers
and roaches but decided against it.
Got horribly lost going back to the hotel and wandered into the bad side of
town. I know this cause when i started walking down this alley these
gangsters and old ladies started pointing at me and making the shoo-shoo
gestures. So i just smiled turned around and left. Eventually made my way
back to the markets where i got a ride on a moped back to my hotel. Never
again i had a death grip on the riders waist, death was constantly with me
absolutley terrifying i cant see how people stay alive and use those bikes.
Had a full thai body massage which was great as well as a foot massage
thinking about getting some acupuncture done on my sore foot. (Thats right
Kat my ankle still hurts)
Wanted to out for a drink last night so walked up to a took-took and told
him to take me too beer. He kept offering to take me to a ping-pong show or
sucky-sucky. I was eventually able to convince him i only wanted "beer no
women". Ended up at "Gullivers" met these 2 nice scottish lads and got
trashed. woke up this morning expecting a major hangover but was ok.
Went out for breakfast and the cafe I was in caught fire so I had to put it
out. It was only a shrine the candles had fallen over and the thing was
burning down and i was the only person tall enough to put it out properly.
Went to the biggest market in Bangkok the Chatuchak markets which was good
got sunnies and a hat there. (Sunnies broken already) the most worrying
thing about the markets was the pet section. Was it a pet shop or an all you
can eat buffet!!!! They had every animal imagine able there from sugar
gliders to geese.
Been to the standing Budda he's 40ft high laid some flowers at his feet and
gave him some incense i still have his gold paint on me now. I also released
some caged birds there as that’s meant to bring you good luck. (Luck for me
or the guy selling the caged birds)
Went on to the Grand Palace and temples which are spectacular they are
encrusted with semi-precious stones and real 24crt gold plating. (Kind of
look like a rappers home all that bling bling)
Took heaps of photos will send on to you when i download them.
Thats all so far meet up with my actual tour group tonight so things should
get even more full on.
Will write again soon Keith
Hi all,
Don't have much time as we are about to disembark to the hill tribes in the
jungle for 3 days.
So i will be unable to contact anyone.
Things have been crazy so far met up with the rest of the group, all seem
very nice. On the first night together we had dinner in a restaurant then
some of the girls decided they wanted to see a sex show ping-pong balls and
all so we all trouped off to the red light district and went into one of the
bars there to watch the show.
Was very disappointed with the ping-pong balls it looked just like a chicken
laying an egg, the girl who really impressed me could shoot darts to burst
balloons and blow a whistle very impressive. We then left the club and went
in search of lady boys (Katoys) but couldn't find any had a few suspects but
no definite.
The next day was much of the same with visiting the Chatachuck markets
again discovering even more exotic pets like albino hedgehogs, toucans, and
macaus. We then went on a boat trip along the river in Bangkok to and orchid
farm which was very nice. our guide showed us what fruits we could eat a
very sweet red berry called Dakum and a nut/date type thing called Tamerine.
We then had to board a train to Chang-Mai it was a long 10hr journey during
which i consumed a vast quantity of Bundy. I started drinking with one of
the railroad waitress every time a guard came by i would take her drink so
they wouldn't catch her drinking. After a while i went for a walk and found
my waitress friend in the staff cabins i gave her a hug ( I was quite drunk
by this time) and another guard got quite upset and started pointing at
himself and her indicating that they were a couple. At this point i decided
to leave (not that i was interested anyway but i suddenly realized what had
been going on) We eventually arrived in Chang Mai to our hotel (Prince) it
was a relief to have proper toilets and a shower again. We then went for a
tour around town saw more gem shops (Yawn) and a silk and paper factory
which was very good. Myself and Kelly by this stage had, had enough so
returned to our hotel to have brake and a Thai massage. Which we organized
through a near bye shop for the girl to come to our rooms. When the girl
arrived she started the massage but after 5 min she started touching me
.....elsewhere....... i told her "No just massage" but she kept doing it
after the 3rd time i'd had enough so i kicked her out of my room. Took her
down to the lobby and told the concierge "Bad woman, dirty women,c no let
back in" the guy understood and threw her out of the building.
Went to a proper lady-boy show last night was fantastic the girls????? where
stunning i got dragged up on stage and covered in kisses much to everyone’s
amusement.
Anyway got to go the hill tribes await..
G'day all
Just returned from 3 days with the hill tribes was excellent. Went hiking,
rafting, and elephant riding. Took part in a tribal dance, chewed berri nuts,
Slept in a long hut with everyone, learnt a lot about my fellow travelers (i
can't look at the petite little english girl in the same way again)
Everyones really cool there are 12 of us all between 18-28 . We all get on
very well although the German girl is a bit odd.
i am absolutely filthy as i haven’t washed in 3 days and my gay room mate
bagged the shower first. Funny that they separate the girls from the boys
but........
Just writing a quick one to let you know am still alive got to go wash before
dinner, dancing and drinking will write properly later.
Keith
Me left Chang Mai for the hill tribes in an old ute with bench seats in the
back we where packed in on bench seats with no seatbelts going up
incredibly steep mountain roads with a vertical drop just inches off the
side of the road . Was quite scary. When we reached our destination we had a
2 hr walk through the jungle to our campsite a remote hill village. We saw a
grass snake ate wild mangoes (they taste quite like sour worms) , i have
also eaten Grasshoppers ( Taste like chicken flavoured twisties) Bamboo
worms (burnt egg white) dried frogs (salty jerky) crickets (terrible)
when we reached the village it was exactly what I’d imagined a remote
village to look like chickens and pigs every where everyone living in bamboo
huts, dirty children everywhere, all the women where in traditional dress,
blue for married women and purple for single. Tried the local drink its like
drinking metho. The tribal dance was interesting everyone holds hands and
stands round in a circle whilst a guy in the middle plays a guitar like
instrument he could only play 2 chords. We moved around in the circle
stamping our feet and swinging our arms. The lady i was dancing with
wouldn't let go of my hand and i was scared i might end up married to her or
something but all was well. Looked at the stars they are very pretty up
here but different cause we are in the northern hemisphere can still see the
southern cross though.
Left the village early the next morning and started our hike to the next one
it was through quite difficult terrain and some of the girls really
struggled i had to take Sahras pack as she just couldn't manage it. After we
finished the hike went swimming in the river which was fantastic the rapids
massaging our hurting bodies. Until Elephant turds came downstream and
forced us out of the water. Then it was time to start our elephant ride,
Myself and Ben got onboard one which is interesting you actually have to
stand on its head to get on board. The ride itself was fun going through the
river and along cliff edges especially when the elephant sees something
tasty and leans over the cliff to get it. Finally arrived at the next
village where we spent the night.
Woke up the next morning too full on jungle noises as well as the constant
crowing of cockerels. We had breakfast then straight on to the rafts to go
downriver. The rafts where very primitive just bamboo held together with
reeds. with bamboo poles to push you along. Yet the were amazingly stable
they even handled rapids well enough. Saw a snake swimming in the river
which freaked alot of the girls out. Got back to Chang Mai last night went
out for dinner and traditional Thai dancing which was great then back to the
hotel for sleep.
Just about to go out for a Thai hot spa treatment then back to Bangkok
Trips going well had a scare today left my passports in the back seat of a
taxi. Spent a very frantic couple of hours running round trying to get them
back. Was eventually able to track them down i gave the taxi driver a
ridiculous amount of money (400b) to get them back i was so grateful.
We had a good night out in Chang mai the meal was excellent an all you can
eat Thai buffet with traditional dancers and knife twirlers. After the meal
we went to the "Best" nightclub in Chang Mai, It was so bad it was good.
There was a huge stage with dancers on it they where all dressed up in
leather and what not. They where singing and dancing to Thai covers of
English songs so it took you a while to figure out what was going on. (Their
cover of "Fever" was particularly bad)The grand finally was when the lead
singer came out in skin tight red leather pants and a red cape he looked
hilarious. The whole place really reminded me of Metro's City with its
layout bubble gum pop music and entirely Asian crowd (Ben and I were easily
the tallest people in the place by at least a foot) Instead of buying
individual drinks Tommy (our guide) was buying whole bottles of spirits at a
time as a result most of us got horribly drunk (Except me i was a good boy
and left early sooooo tierd)
Caught the train down to Bangkok from Chang Mai another session of hard core
bundy drinking. Didn't get in trouble with the waitress this time although i
seem to remember striking poses in front of one of the guards its all so
hazy.
When i was in the hills i tried Bettle nut which is a traditional drug the
natives chew. Its a bit of a muscle relaxant. You can easily spot the nut
chewers as their lips are red and their teeth black. Any way this old woman
gave me some of her stash which i chewed for a while, it was the most bitter
thing i'd ever tried it tasted disgusting. The only effect that chewing that
nut did apart from making everything taste foul for the rest of the day, was
to put my mouth the sleep i couldn't talk properly or feel my mouth for
about an hour afterwards.
Leave for the south tomorrow write you all soon and let you know what’s
going on
Arrived in Khao Sok,
All going well bid goodbye to Bangkok, and the majority of my tour group.
Only myself and Adam (the gay guy) are doing this leg of the tour. Our new
group is a lot smaller and thankfully contains less women. Spent my last day
in Bangkok trying to find the kickboxing stadium which when i eventually did
was closed. But i had fun anyway using Bangkok's state of the art mono rail
and underground system. It's quite strange how a country can be so advanced
one way yet backward the next. Went out with a couple of guys from the group
on our first night in Bangkok Adam went out gay clubbing so i didn't fancy
going with him I’d cramp his style. But when i got back to our room there
was someone in bed with Adam so i grabbed my bedding and slept in one of the
other guys room on the floor. Some things i just don't want to know.
Another train journey this time from Bangkok to Khao Sok national park.
Refrained from drinking this time and got a good nights sleep on the train.
Our resort is very nice if a little primitive it reminds me of the places we
stayed at lake Kariba (Zimbabwe - sorry if you've no idea what i'm talking
about)
The food here is excellent and there is a river right by our camp in which
we go tubing. Which basically involves jumping in a tire tube and floating
down stream over the rapids. Then walking back to the hotel and starting
again great fun.
Went to see a cave temple with a underground lake in it getting to the
temple was quite fun first we had to cross an Indiana Jones style bridge
then wade for about 200m through a knee high swamp. When we eventually got
to the temple there were dogs everywhere as the temple acts as a sort of
local pound for lost/unwanted dogs.
Entered the temple saw the mummified remains of one of the monks who'd died
their 13 years ago that was quite strange. Took a walk through the caves
their to the underground lake. If you swim in it when you leave a giant is
meant to come along and eat you!!!!!!!!
Left the temple and went down to the river where you can swim with monkeys.
The monkeys come down to the river to feed and you can swim right up to them
awesome. Also saw a couple of hornbills which is quite rare.
Took a walk through the jungle last night was very pretty if a little eerie
with all those fire flies buzzing around.
Today went for a big walk through the national park to see some waterfalls,
quite impressive, although they where more rapids than water falls. Had
leech contests Big Mark had thought he'd won with 7 leeches (i only got 1)
But then Geoff emerged with a shock victory 73 leeches eeeeewwwwww.
This afternoon involved more tubing which was great fun we went for a really
long one and had to be picked up afterwards. Saw 2 Mangrove snakes whilst
tubing they were quite large and black with yellow stripes they just sat on
the branches overhanging the river.
Leaving tomorrow morning for Khosa Moia, should be good golden beaches and
would you believe it a miss universe pageant!!!!!
Wrtie you all from there take care
Went to Pee-Pee island today (Where the beach was filmed) was amazing
although i though the actual beach was a bit of a let down. But to be fair
it had been trashed in the Tsunami. Went snorkelling in several spots around
the island was truly amazing. Saw several cuttle fish (they change color
when you get to close - but i couldn't get them to squirt ink) A sea snake,
which was really cool, and thousands of black and yellow striped fish which
you could hand feed at the risk of a few nips.
Arrived in Malaysia last night been going well, although am suffering from
exploding ass.
My last few days in Thailand where fantastic, we went to an all you can eat
restrung on Thursday night and some how got into an eating contest, Big
Mark won with 15 pieces of meat from the BBQ, 2 bowls of ice cream and a
pancake. Still feel ill thinking about it. It proved amusing none the less.
We spent the rest of the night sitting at the Last Fisherman's Bar in Koh
Sumui, a truly amazing place right on the beach last sit back relax and
listen to the waves, paradise.
The next day I went rock climbing all day on huge limestone cliffs, the
grade wasn't that hard but the cliffs where quite high. I absolutely loved
it, was so exhausted afterwards that i could barely walk but still some how
found the energy to go to back to the Last Fisherman’s for drinks.
Then it was into a mini-van for the 8 hr journey to the border, not to good
especially as i had a hangover (My first all trip would you believe) The
border crossing was fun it went smooth, i committed one of the most daring
crimes of the century, I stole a pen from one of the customs officers in
Thailand and got Big Mark to smuggle it across into Malaysia for me
(inadvertently) and success score one pen and a new first for me
international pen smuggling.
When we eventually arrived in Penang checked into our hotel took a walk
round its a very nice city but during the day it's absolutely dead, if you
want to do anything you have to do it first thing in the morning or in the
evening during the day the whole place shuts down.
Went to the night club under our hotel, there were a couple of Malaysian
guys there dancing and doing the air guitar to music, it was with out a
doubt the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. When YMCA came on i think
we all just about died laughing.
We decided to leave the club before we all gave our selves hernias, i wish
I’d had a video cameras, and headed of to the Western Oriental Hotel, the
Penang equivalent of the Singapore Raffles (Not the ex-Perth grab a granny
bar) It's a full on 5 star style resort and there the 6 of us where
unshaven, unwashed, in shorts and T-shirts knocking back Penang Punches. But
still getting 5 star service, that would never happen back home.
Watched the FA cup final, a bit of a disappointment but at least Man. U
didn't win.
Heading off today going to a remote island to live with traditional Muslim
family, should be good besides i think my liver needs the rest. Will write
again when i get back, probably from KL.
The island retreat was good though, we stayed on a small island in the
middle of a lake. Their was only the family who ran the retreat on the
island with us. The first day was spent relaxing, swimming, learning to play
Chunka a very addictive game played with marbles. (I’m sure their is a
version you can get on your mobile phones)
The second day we went for a walk through a village with our guide
explaining to us what the different plants and what not were. After the walk
through the village we went into the jungle and up to a waterfall. The trek
to the waterfall was pretty full on especially as our local guide got lost
and our western guide had to take charge and lead us up the proper route.
When we got to the waterfall it was all worth it, The waterfall comes off a
cliff about 8m high into a lake in the middle of the jungle. You swim out to
the waterfall and then climb round behind it to walk through it, got some
awesome photo's of that. There was also a vine hanging down from the cliff
into the lake so swang around on that for a while real Tarzan stuff.
Climbed up the rocks to the top of the waterfall resisted all urges to jump
but it looked good.
Went back to the island were 4 of us Big Mark, Little Mark, Geoff and I
decided to attempt the 1.3km swim across the lake and back. The record is 29
min, Geoff got 31 min, Little Mark 53 min, I took 1hr 09 min, and Big Mark
1hr 13 min. We all decided that it was more like 4km their and back. Didn't
get anywhere near the record but i did it by Allah.
Afterwards went and had a traditional Malaysian meal, which you had to eat
with your hands. Only your right hand as the left is used for .....other
things.... So i have reverted from knives and forks to spoons and fork
(Thailand) to bare hands(Malaysia). The meal was good though very spicy.
Played an evil practical joke on Big Mark (the walking disaster of the
group) We found a dead gecko and buried under the marbles in Marks Chunka
game so when he went to pick them up he grabbed a handful of Gecko, he gave
a big girly scream and flapped his hands hysterically in the air. It was
even funnier because he's 6"5.
Got the bus to KL was really good air conditioned the works. Malaysian
freeways are good and the drivers are no where near as insane as the Thais.
When we got to KL it was pouring during the 5min walk to our hotel we all
got soaked. We are staying in the middle of China town which is really cool
lots of stalls, selling watches, DVD's, T-shirts ect.
Went out to KCC which is the biggest most modern shopping centre in Malaysia
far better than anything in Perth. Saw the 3rd episode of Star Wars, really
liked it almost made up for the first 2 movies. When we left the cinema's we
where right underneath the Petronis Towers, so it felt like i was still in
the movies. Excellent.
Going to the Batang Caves today then off to Mallaca tomorrow, write you
either from there or Singapore.
Been a bit chaotic and crazy over here. Finished my tour of Thailand,
Malaysia and Singapore. After i last wrote to you i was in KL, that night
was also the European Cup Final and given that most of the people I’ve been
travelling with are Poms we had to go watch it. The problem being that it
was on at 3.00am. The solution find a bar party hard until early in the
morning then go back to the hotel lobby to watch the game. In KL it is
vastly cheaper to buy a whole bottle of Vodka, Whiskey or Bacardi and drink
that in a club all your soft drink is free!!!!! This created a problem as we
where pouring our own mixes and everything got messy i have been reliably
informed that we drank 3 bottles of Vodka between the 7 of us roughly half a
bottle each!!!!!!!! No one actually made it through the night to watch the
game. Big Mark (the walking rabies infested disaster zone, nice guy but if
it's going to happen its going to happen to him) had alcohol poisoning and
as a result was hangover for at least 3 days afterwards. (Hope your feeling
better Mark) We left KL early the next morning to Mallaca, Mallaca seemed
like a nice place but everyone was to hung-over to notice. It's got some
pretty red buildings, water monitors (just like our goanna's), mudskippers
which are amazing obviously a link in the evolution chain we sat and
watched them for about half an hour. Other than that i found Malacca quiet
dull with no night life to speak off. So it was early to bed for a much
needed rest. The hostel we staid in was worth mentioning it was run by a
very bizarre Swiss lady, who was incredibly strange, she also had the
biggest cat I’ve ever seen the thing was huge. Her and her husband would sit
up all night listening to Reggae out the front with the rickshaw drivers
cycling past. The rickshaws in Mallaca are quiet funny they are all highly
decorated and some of them have cranking stereo systems in them. So you hear
this loud Doof-Doof music coming down the street and it turns out to be a
guy on a rickshaw. Quiet Funny.
The next day we entered Singapore continued my career as a international pen
thief by smuggling chewing gum into Singapore. Can anyone stop this criminal
mastermind!!!!!!!!!
Took a walk around the city so modern and impressive but think its a bit
over rated as a tourist destination. Went to the spitting sea-lion on the
harbor front the lion itself was not really to impressive but the
buildings, bridges and river certainly were.
That night had a farewell dinner with everyone even the hermit like Irish
couple. Was very good had the curried crab i got to pick which one i wanted
never done that before handpicked my dinner. (Sorry mister crab - but you
sure where tasty) Tony and myself fancied a beer but the prices of alcohol
in Singapore are astronomical. Then we found a place that charged $35 for an
all you can drink affair even though we only wanted 2-3 beers each it was
still cheaper for us to go for an all you can drink affair then to buy the
same amount of beer individually.
The next day bid farewell to everyone, was very sad to see them go. Went to
Changi prison chaple, although it was not as impressive or as well
presented as i thought it would be was still worth the visit. To lift my
spirits after that i went to Sambosa Island meant to be the holiday
destination in Singapore. One word spring to mind when describing Sambosa
"Hole" After visiting that disgusting, over hyped, over developed, over
priced piece of excrement floating off the coast of Singapore i was ready to
go home and leave Singapore in disgust. The second best thing about Sambosa
Island was the view from the cable car going there as you can look out over
the whole of Singapore and realise how big the city is as well as the size
of the shipyards they are immense. The best thing about Sambosa was the same
view but coming back because you are now leaving Sambosa!!!!!!!!
Had an early night that night wallowing in disgust over Sambosa island, i
promised myself i will never ever go anywhere that tacky again.
The next day in an attempt to restore my faith in Singapore, i went to the
Singapore Zoo. Which was quite impressive especially the white tigers, pygmy
hippo's, jaguars and otters. One of the high lights off the zoo trip was
watching a Sloth and a fruit bat fight over a piece of melon absolutely
hilarious. Changed my hostels that night as the one i was staying in in
Chinatown was rather dull, so i moved to the Prince of Wales in Little
India. The place was great cheapest beer in Singapore i could actually
afford to drink. Went out clubbing with the owner of the hostel (Mal) he
took us to all the best places got us in for free and cheap drinks so good
on him. Mal and the 2 glaswegians where really running amok taking their
clothes off, jumping on the stage, just being drunk dickheads in general it
was quiet funny watching them.
Got to go will right more later planes boarding
Been having all sorts of adventures, slept most of the flight over. When i
got off the plane some idiot grabbed my luggage instead of thiers. As a
result i had to stay in the same clothes couldn't shower or go out for my
first few hours as i had to wait in the hotel for the idiot to realise that
he had the wrong bag and then return it to the hotel. Which he eventually
did thank God. When i was walking around met a very friendly guy think he
was a con artist but he showed me around a bit before offering to sell me
real emeralds and rubies (polished glass) at discount prices. I just laughed
and walked away He did take me around a bit first showed me some cool
temples the "Lucky Budda" being one.
Then i took a Took-took to the local markets trying to find sunnies and a
watch to no avail was tempted by a big bowl full of crisp freid grasshoppers
and roaches but decided against it.
Got horribly lost going back to the hotel and wandered into the bad side of
town. I know this cause when i started walking down this alley these
gangsters and old ladies started pointing at me and making the shoo-shoo
gestures. So i just smiled turned around and left. Eventually made my way
back to the markets where i got a ride on a moped back to my hotel. Never
again i had a death grip on the riders waist, death was constantly with me
absolutley terrifying i cant see how people stay alive and use those bikes.
Had a full thai body massage which was great as well as a foot massage
thinking about getting some acupuncture done on my sore foot. (Thats right
Kat my ankle still hurts)
Wanted to out for a drink last night so walked up to a took-took and told
him to take me too beer. He kept offering to take me to a ping-pong show or
sucky-sucky. I was eventually able to convince him i only wanted "beer no
women". Ended up at "Gullivers" met these 2 nice scottish lads and got
trashed. woke up this morning expecting a major hangover but was ok.
Went out for breakfast and the cafe I was in caught fire so I had to put it
out. It was only a shrine the candles had fallen over and the thing was
burning down and i was the only person tall enough to put it out properly.
Went to the biggest market in Bangkok the Chatuchak markets which was good
got sunnies and a hat there. (Sunnies broken already) the most worrying
thing about the markets was the pet section. Was it a pet shop or an all you
can eat buffet!!!! They had every animal imagine able there from sugar
gliders to geese.
Been to the standing Budda he's 40ft high laid some flowers at his feet and
gave him some incense i still have his gold paint on me now. I also released
some caged birds there as that’s meant to bring you good luck. (Luck for me
or the guy selling the caged birds)
Went on to the Grand Palace and temples which are spectacular they are
encrusted with semi-precious stones and real 24crt gold plating. (Kind of
look like a rappers home all that bling bling)
Took heaps of photos will send on to you when i download them.
Thats all so far meet up with my actual tour group tonight so things should
get even more full on.
Will write again soon Keith
Hi all,
Don't have much time as we are about to disembark to the hill tribes in the
jungle for 3 days.
So i will be unable to contact anyone.
Things have been crazy so far met up with the rest of the group, all seem
very nice. On the first night together we had dinner in a restaurant then
some of the girls decided they wanted to see a sex show ping-pong balls and
all so we all trouped off to the red light district and went into one of the
bars there to watch the show.
Was very disappointed with the ping-pong balls it looked just like a chicken
laying an egg, the girl who really impressed me could shoot darts to burst
balloons and blow a whistle very impressive. We then left the club and went
in search of lady boys (Katoys) but couldn't find any had a few suspects but
no definite.
The next day was much of the same with visiting the Chatachuck markets
again discovering even more exotic pets like albino hedgehogs, toucans, and
macaus. We then went on a boat trip along the river in Bangkok to and orchid
farm which was very nice. our guide showed us what fruits we could eat a
very sweet red berry called Dakum and a nut/date type thing called Tamerine.
We then had to board a train to Chang-Mai it was a long 10hr journey during
which i consumed a vast quantity of Bundy. I started drinking with one of
the railroad waitress every time a guard came by i would take her drink so
they wouldn't catch her drinking. After a while i went for a walk and found
my waitress friend in the staff cabins i gave her a hug ( I was quite drunk
by this time) and another guard got quite upset and started pointing at
himself and her indicating that they were a couple. At this point i decided
to leave (not that i was interested anyway but i suddenly realized what had
been going on) We eventually arrived in Chang Mai to our hotel (Prince) it
was a relief to have proper toilets and a shower again. We then went for a
tour around town saw more gem shops (Yawn) and a silk and paper factory
which was very good. Myself and Kelly by this stage had, had enough so
returned to our hotel to have brake and a Thai massage. Which we organized
through a near bye shop for the girl to come to our rooms. When the girl
arrived she started the massage but after 5 min she started touching me
.....elsewhere....... i told her "No just massage" but she kept doing it
after the 3rd time i'd had enough so i kicked her out of my room. Took her
down to the lobby and told the concierge "Bad woman, dirty women,c no let
back in" the guy understood and threw her out of the building.
Went to a proper lady-boy show last night was fantastic the girls????? where
stunning i got dragged up on stage and covered in kisses much to everyone’s
amusement.
Anyway got to go the hill tribes await..
G'day all
Just returned from 3 days with the hill tribes was excellent. Went hiking,
rafting, and elephant riding. Took part in a tribal dance, chewed berri nuts,
Slept in a long hut with everyone, learnt a lot about my fellow travelers (i
can't look at the petite little english girl in the same way again)
Everyones really cool there are 12 of us all between 18-28 . We all get on
very well although the German girl is a bit odd.
i am absolutely filthy as i haven’t washed in 3 days and my gay room mate
bagged the shower first. Funny that they separate the girls from the boys
but........
Just writing a quick one to let you know am still alive got to go wash before
dinner, dancing and drinking will write properly later.
Keith
Me left Chang Mai for the hill tribes in an old ute with bench seats in the
back we where packed in on bench seats with no seatbelts going up
incredibly steep mountain roads with a vertical drop just inches off the
side of the road . Was quite scary. When we reached our destination we had a
2 hr walk through the jungle to our campsite a remote hill village. We saw a
grass snake ate wild mangoes (they taste quite like sour worms) , i have
also eaten Grasshoppers ( Taste like chicken flavoured twisties) Bamboo
worms (burnt egg white) dried frogs (salty jerky) crickets (terrible)
when we reached the village it was exactly what I’d imagined a remote
village to look like chickens and pigs every where everyone living in bamboo
huts, dirty children everywhere, all the women where in traditional dress,
blue for married women and purple for single. Tried the local drink its like
drinking metho. The tribal dance was interesting everyone holds hands and
stands round in a circle whilst a guy in the middle plays a guitar like
instrument he could only play 2 chords. We moved around in the circle
stamping our feet and swinging our arms. The lady i was dancing with
wouldn't let go of my hand and i was scared i might end up married to her or
something but all was well. Looked at the stars they are very pretty up
here but different cause we are in the northern hemisphere can still see the
southern cross though.
Left the village early the next morning and started our hike to the next one
it was through quite difficult terrain and some of the girls really
struggled i had to take Sahras pack as she just couldn't manage it. After we
finished the hike went swimming in the river which was fantastic the rapids
massaging our hurting bodies. Until Elephant turds came downstream and
forced us out of the water. Then it was time to start our elephant ride,
Myself and Ben got onboard one which is interesting you actually have to
stand on its head to get on board. The ride itself was fun going through the
river and along cliff edges especially when the elephant sees something
tasty and leans over the cliff to get it. Finally arrived at the next
village where we spent the night.
Woke up the next morning too full on jungle noises as well as the constant
crowing of cockerels. We had breakfast then straight on to the rafts to go
downriver. The rafts where very primitive just bamboo held together with
reeds. with bamboo poles to push you along. Yet the were amazingly stable
they even handled rapids well enough. Saw a snake swimming in the river
which freaked alot of the girls out. Got back to Chang Mai last night went
out for dinner and traditional Thai dancing which was great then back to the
hotel for sleep.
Just about to go out for a Thai hot spa treatment then back to Bangkok
Trips going well had a scare today left my passports in the back seat of a
taxi. Spent a very frantic couple of hours running round trying to get them
back. Was eventually able to track them down i gave the taxi driver a
ridiculous amount of money (400b) to get them back i was so grateful.
We had a good night out in Chang mai the meal was excellent an all you can
eat Thai buffet with traditional dancers and knife twirlers. After the meal
we went to the "Best" nightclub in Chang Mai, It was so bad it was good.
There was a huge stage with dancers on it they where all dressed up in
leather and what not. They where singing and dancing to Thai covers of
English songs so it took you a while to figure out what was going on. (Their
cover of "Fever" was particularly bad)The grand finally was when the lead
singer came out in skin tight red leather pants and a red cape he looked
hilarious. The whole place really reminded me of Metro's City with its
layout bubble gum pop music and entirely Asian crowd (Ben and I were easily
the tallest people in the place by at least a foot) Instead of buying
individual drinks Tommy (our guide) was buying whole bottles of spirits at a
time as a result most of us got horribly drunk (Except me i was a good boy
and left early sooooo tierd)
Caught the train down to Bangkok from Chang Mai another session of hard core
bundy drinking. Didn't get in trouble with the waitress this time although i
seem to remember striking poses in front of one of the guards its all so
hazy.
When i was in the hills i tried Bettle nut which is a traditional drug the
natives chew. Its a bit of a muscle relaxant. You can easily spot the nut
chewers as their lips are red and their teeth black. Any way this old woman
gave me some of her stash which i chewed for a while, it was the most bitter
thing i'd ever tried it tasted disgusting. The only effect that chewing that
nut did apart from making everything taste foul for the rest of the day, was
to put my mouth the sleep i couldn't talk properly or feel my mouth for
about an hour afterwards.
Leave for the south tomorrow write you all soon and let you know what’s
going on
Arrived in Khao Sok,
All going well bid goodbye to Bangkok, and the majority of my tour group.
Only myself and Adam (the gay guy) are doing this leg of the tour. Our new
group is a lot smaller and thankfully contains less women. Spent my last day
in Bangkok trying to find the kickboxing stadium which when i eventually did
was closed. But i had fun anyway using Bangkok's state of the art mono rail
and underground system. It's quite strange how a country can be so advanced
one way yet backward the next. Went out with a couple of guys from the group
on our first night in Bangkok Adam went out gay clubbing so i didn't fancy
going with him I’d cramp his style. But when i got back to our room there
was someone in bed with Adam so i grabbed my bedding and slept in one of the
other guys room on the floor. Some things i just don't want to know.
Another train journey this time from Bangkok to Khao Sok national park.
Refrained from drinking this time and got a good nights sleep on the train.
Our resort is very nice if a little primitive it reminds me of the places we
stayed at lake Kariba (Zimbabwe - sorry if you've no idea what i'm talking
about)
The food here is excellent and there is a river right by our camp in which
we go tubing. Which basically involves jumping in a tire tube and floating
down stream over the rapids. Then walking back to the hotel and starting
again great fun.
Went to see a cave temple with a underground lake in it getting to the
temple was quite fun first we had to cross an Indiana Jones style bridge
then wade for about 200m through a knee high swamp. When we eventually got
to the temple there were dogs everywhere as the temple acts as a sort of
local pound for lost/unwanted dogs.
Entered the temple saw the mummified remains of one of the monks who'd died
their 13 years ago that was quite strange. Took a walk through the caves
their to the underground lake. If you swim in it when you leave a giant is
meant to come along and eat you!!!!!!!!
Left the temple and went down to the river where you can swim with monkeys.
The monkeys come down to the river to feed and you can swim right up to them
awesome. Also saw a couple of hornbills which is quite rare.
Took a walk through the jungle last night was very pretty if a little eerie
with all those fire flies buzzing around.
Today went for a big walk through the national park to see some waterfalls,
quite impressive, although they where more rapids than water falls. Had
leech contests Big Mark had thought he'd won with 7 leeches (i only got 1)
But then Geoff emerged with a shock victory 73 leeches eeeeewwwwww.
This afternoon involved more tubing which was great fun we went for a really
long one and had to be picked up afterwards. Saw 2 Mangrove snakes whilst
tubing they were quite large and black with yellow stripes they just sat on
the branches overhanging the river.
Leaving tomorrow morning for Khosa Moia, should be good golden beaches and
would you believe it a miss universe pageant!!!!!
Wrtie you all from there take care
Went to Pee-Pee island today (Where the beach was filmed) was amazing
although i though the actual beach was a bit of a let down. But to be fair
it had been trashed in the Tsunami. Went snorkelling in several spots around
the island was truly amazing. Saw several cuttle fish (they change color
when you get to close - but i couldn't get them to squirt ink) A sea snake,
which was really cool, and thousands of black and yellow striped fish which
you could hand feed at the risk of a few nips.
Arrived in Malaysia last night been going well, although am suffering from
exploding ass.
My last few days in Thailand where fantastic, we went to an all you can eat
restrung on Thursday night and some how got into an eating contest, Big
Mark won with 15 pieces of meat from the BBQ, 2 bowls of ice cream and a
pancake. Still feel ill thinking about it. It proved amusing none the less.
We spent the rest of the night sitting at the Last Fisherman's Bar in Koh
Sumui, a truly amazing place right on the beach last sit back relax and
listen to the waves, paradise.
The next day I went rock climbing all day on huge limestone cliffs, the
grade wasn't that hard but the cliffs where quite high. I absolutely loved
it, was so exhausted afterwards that i could barely walk but still some how
found the energy to go to back to the Last Fisherman’s for drinks.
Then it was into a mini-van for the 8 hr journey to the border, not to good
especially as i had a hangover (My first all trip would you believe) The
border crossing was fun it went smooth, i committed one of the most daring
crimes of the century, I stole a pen from one of the customs officers in
Thailand and got Big Mark to smuggle it across into Malaysia for me
(inadvertently) and success score one pen and a new first for me
international pen smuggling.
When we eventually arrived in Penang checked into our hotel took a walk
round its a very nice city but during the day it's absolutely dead, if you
want to do anything you have to do it first thing in the morning or in the
evening during the day the whole place shuts down.
Went to the night club under our hotel, there were a couple of Malaysian
guys there dancing and doing the air guitar to music, it was with out a
doubt the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. When YMCA came on i think
we all just about died laughing.
We decided to leave the club before we all gave our selves hernias, i wish
I’d had a video cameras, and headed of to the Western Oriental Hotel, the
Penang equivalent of the Singapore Raffles (Not the ex-Perth grab a granny
bar) It's a full on 5 star style resort and there the 6 of us where
unshaven, unwashed, in shorts and T-shirts knocking back Penang Punches. But
still getting 5 star service, that would never happen back home.
Watched the FA cup final, a bit of a disappointment but at least Man. U
didn't win.
Heading off today going to a remote island to live with traditional Muslim
family, should be good besides i think my liver needs the rest. Will write
again when i get back, probably from KL.
The island retreat was good though, we stayed on a small island in the
middle of a lake. Their was only the family who ran the retreat on the
island with us. The first day was spent relaxing, swimming, learning to play
Chunka a very addictive game played with marbles. (I’m sure their is a
version you can get on your mobile phones)
The second day we went for a walk through a village with our guide
explaining to us what the different plants and what not were. After the walk
through the village we went into the jungle and up to a waterfall. The trek
to the waterfall was pretty full on especially as our local guide got lost
and our western guide had to take charge and lead us up the proper route.
When we got to the waterfall it was all worth it, The waterfall comes off a
cliff about 8m high into a lake in the middle of the jungle. You swim out to
the waterfall and then climb round behind it to walk through it, got some
awesome photo's of that. There was also a vine hanging down from the cliff
into the lake so swang around on that for a while real Tarzan stuff.
Climbed up the rocks to the top of the waterfall resisted all urges to jump
but it looked good.
Went back to the island were 4 of us Big Mark, Little Mark, Geoff and I
decided to attempt the 1.3km swim across the lake and back. The record is 29
min, Geoff got 31 min, Little Mark 53 min, I took 1hr 09 min, and Big Mark
1hr 13 min. We all decided that it was more like 4km their and back. Didn't
get anywhere near the record but i did it by Allah.
Afterwards went and had a traditional Malaysian meal, which you had to eat
with your hands. Only your right hand as the left is used for .....other
things.... So i have reverted from knives and forks to spoons and fork
(Thailand) to bare hands(Malaysia). The meal was good though very spicy.
Played an evil practical joke on Big Mark (the walking disaster of the
group) We found a dead gecko and buried under the marbles in Marks Chunka
game so when he went to pick them up he grabbed a handful of Gecko, he gave
a big girly scream and flapped his hands hysterically in the air. It was
even funnier because he's 6"5.
Got the bus to KL was really good air conditioned the works. Malaysian
freeways are good and the drivers are no where near as insane as the Thais.
When we got to KL it was pouring during the 5min walk to our hotel we all
got soaked. We are staying in the middle of China town which is really cool
lots of stalls, selling watches, DVD's, T-shirts ect.
Went out to KCC which is the biggest most modern shopping centre in Malaysia
far better than anything in Perth. Saw the 3rd episode of Star Wars, really
liked it almost made up for the first 2 movies. When we left the cinema's we
where right underneath the Petronis Towers, so it felt like i was still in
the movies. Excellent.
Going to the Batang Caves today then off to Mallaca tomorrow, write you
either from there or Singapore.
Been a bit chaotic and crazy over here. Finished my tour of Thailand,
Malaysia and Singapore. After i last wrote to you i was in KL, that night
was also the European Cup Final and given that most of the people I’ve been
travelling with are Poms we had to go watch it. The problem being that it
was on at 3.00am. The solution find a bar party hard until early in the
morning then go back to the hotel lobby to watch the game. In KL it is
vastly cheaper to buy a whole bottle of Vodka, Whiskey or Bacardi and drink
that in a club all your soft drink is free!!!!! This created a problem as we
where pouring our own mixes and everything got messy i have been reliably
informed that we drank 3 bottles of Vodka between the 7 of us roughly half a
bottle each!!!!!!!! No one actually made it through the night to watch the
game. Big Mark (the walking rabies infested disaster zone, nice guy but if
it's going to happen its going to happen to him) had alcohol poisoning and
as a result was hangover for at least 3 days afterwards. (Hope your feeling
better Mark) We left KL early the next morning to Mallaca, Mallaca seemed
like a nice place but everyone was to hung-over to notice. It's got some
pretty red buildings, water monitors (just like our goanna's), mudskippers
which are amazing obviously a link in the evolution chain we sat and
watched them for about half an hour. Other than that i found Malacca quiet
dull with no night life to speak off. So it was early to bed for a much
needed rest. The hostel we staid in was worth mentioning it was run by a
very bizarre Swiss lady, who was incredibly strange, she also had the
biggest cat I’ve ever seen the thing was huge. Her and her husband would sit
up all night listening to Reggae out the front with the rickshaw drivers
cycling past. The rickshaws in Mallaca are quiet funny they are all highly
decorated and some of them have cranking stereo systems in them. So you hear
this loud Doof-Doof music coming down the street and it turns out to be a
guy on a rickshaw. Quiet Funny.
The next day we entered Singapore continued my career as a international pen
thief by smuggling chewing gum into Singapore. Can anyone stop this criminal
mastermind!!!!!!!!!
Took a walk around the city so modern and impressive but think its a bit
over rated as a tourist destination. Went to the spitting sea-lion on the
harbor front the lion itself was not really to impressive but the
buildings, bridges and river certainly were.
That night had a farewell dinner with everyone even the hermit like Irish
couple. Was very good had the curried crab i got to pick which one i wanted
never done that before handpicked my dinner. (Sorry mister crab - but you
sure where tasty) Tony and myself fancied a beer but the prices of alcohol
in Singapore are astronomical. Then we found a place that charged $35 for an
all you can drink affair even though we only wanted 2-3 beers each it was
still cheaper for us to go for an all you can drink affair then to buy the
same amount of beer individually.
The next day bid farewell to everyone, was very sad to see them go. Went to
Changi prison chaple, although it was not as impressive or as well
presented as i thought it would be was still worth the visit. To lift my
spirits after that i went to Sambosa Island meant to be the holiday
destination in Singapore. One word spring to mind when describing Sambosa
"Hole" After visiting that disgusting, over hyped, over developed, over
priced piece of excrement floating off the coast of Singapore i was ready to
go home and leave Singapore in disgust. The second best thing about Sambosa
Island was the view from the cable car going there as you can look out over
the whole of Singapore and realise how big the city is as well as the size
of the shipyards they are immense. The best thing about Sambosa was the same
view but coming back because you are now leaving Sambosa!!!!!!!!
Had an early night that night wallowing in disgust over Sambosa island, i
promised myself i will never ever go anywhere that tacky again.
The next day in an attempt to restore my faith in Singapore, i went to the
Singapore Zoo. Which was quite impressive especially the white tigers, pygmy
hippo's, jaguars and otters. One of the high lights off the zoo trip was
watching a Sloth and a fruit bat fight over a piece of melon absolutely
hilarious. Changed my hostels that night as the one i was staying in in
Chinatown was rather dull, so i moved to the Prince of Wales in Little
India. The place was great cheapest beer in Singapore i could actually
afford to drink. Went out clubbing with the owner of the hostel (Mal) he
took us to all the best places got us in for free and cheap drinks so good
on him. Mal and the 2 glaswegians where really running amok taking their
clothes off, jumping on the stage, just being drunk dickheads in general it
was quiet funny watching them.
Got to go will right more later planes boarding
Total Comments 1
Comments
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You wrote this back then I take it?
Posted July 17th, 2012 at 07:29 AM by markdienekes
