The first feminist book I read was A Vindication of the Rights of Women
by Mary Wollstonecraft, and there is nothing extremist about it.
I'm not quite learned about current feminism.
I have been a feminist since then, and I believe the positions should be based on ability rather than sex/gender.
Female rulers were exceptions rather than the rule, and the few who ruled often demonstrated exceptional abilities (such as the Pharaoh Hatshepsut, Dowager Xiao Chuo of the Liao Empire, Catherine the Great of Russia, etc.)
Bashing feminism as the leading cause of current issues isn't going to help.
As an active proponent for the artificial womb (let's face it! The woman's womb isn't exactly the safest place for the fetus!), I have encountered a few criticisms and supports as well.