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Old November 11th, 2012, 05:30 AM   #71

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Originally Posted by Robespierre View Post
Is it ever OK to cheat on your loved one?

What if you haven't had sex in a million years? Maybe a trillion.

Or, or....the relationship has been emotionally dead for a good while but you are stuck for one reason or another?
Certainly, if your spouse is refusing to have sex with you, you would be justified in looking elsewhere. Sex is supposed to be one of the main reasons for marriage, and if your spouse isn't providing it, they're not living up to their marital obligations.
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Old November 11th, 2012, 06:39 AM   #72

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Originally Posted by Robespierre View Post

What if you haven't had sex in a million years? Maybe a trillion.
You do know there is more to relationship then just sex, right?
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Old November 11th, 2012, 07:13 AM   #73

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It depends upon the circumstances, because sometimes in peoples mind, it may warrant this sort of behaviour, such as a lack of sexual contact in a long term relationship.

Ive been guilty of this in the past, and ive had it done to me, so I know both sides of the coin. All I know now is, that if I was to dare to cheat, my wife would bury me alive, lol!
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Old November 11th, 2012, 09:46 AM   #74

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Cheating is considered to be an act of disloyalty. An sets up a failure in trust. Once this belief in loyalty or trust collapses, it becomes very difficult to build further upon it. It can be done, but is very difficult. And takes tremendous amounts of time to re-establish.
What this brings into question is why sexual loyalty is so highly demanded? Especially among most women and men. However, there is often a double standard among both sexes about who should be able to "cheat" and who should not. In earlier times, it was primarily the female who was never permitted the opportunity to cheat. Men of means were expected to cheat and often had mistresses or concubines in many cultures. Which definitely demonstrated it was a man's world. Today, most people seem to consider cheating as the single most offensive act their "significant other" can commit. Is this a DNA imperative? A biological determination for sexual bonding as merely a protection for legal offspring and to prevent disease?
Or is it the principle of "ownership" carried to the most extreme example betwen two partners?
There seems to be a growing interest in what are called "open" marriages and "swinging" these days, Could this be a modern social adaption to the fact that many people get bored having sex with the same person for more than 3 years on average?
Especially in times in which sexual desire is driven by constant stimulating media images and contact with many attractive individuals is more frequent and much more free time is available for it.
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Old November 12th, 2012, 03:07 PM   #75
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Either ask permission from your partner or get a divorce.

How does your partner have the right to give you permission? They don't own your body--you do.
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Old November 12th, 2012, 03:14 PM   #76

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Certainly, if your spouse is refusing to have sex with you, you would be justified in looking elsewhere. Sex is supposed to be one of the main reasons for marriage, and if your spouse isn't providing it, they're not living up to their marital obligations.
Yes, but it not the only reason. it is important but so are a lot of other things.
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Old November 12th, 2012, 03:41 PM   #77
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I posted my thoughts on this subject on another thread. Since unlike that thread, cheating is the stated topic of this one (the other one started off about having multiple sex partners but wandered off in other directions), I'll repost them here:

I think the whole idea that "cheating" is morally wrong is seriously questionable. I think if you know for sure that you want to leave someone, and you can do it without causing serious problems for yourself (for example, crippling financial losses in a divorce) then you should indeed leave before becoming involved with someone else. But in many, if not most cases, it's not that simple. What if you are actually happy with your partner, but have feelings for someone else as well? You could argue that to act on this would be "cruel" and "selfish," since you're doing something that risks hurting your partner in order to satisfy your own desires. But you could say the same thing about dumping someone who loves you for someone else because you think you'll be happier. Furthermore, in this scenario, you'll DEFINITELY be hurting them, since unlike with cheating, there's no way you can dump someone without them knowing about it. Some people may say that being cheating on hurts more than being dumped. Well, for one thing, that's a personal judgment, different people might feel differently. But even if true, I don't think it invalidates the point that doing either thing involves being selfish.

The other major argument for cheating being immoral is that it involves breaking a promise or agreement. While one could make a case for this, I don't think the argument is conclusive either. I don't think breaking a promise or agreement is necessarily wrong, it must be judged on a case by case basis. If two people made an agreement to get married, I wouldn't think either party had to keep the agreement, because the idea of someone marrying someone they no longer want to seems worse than the other party getting their feelings hurt. You can't consider an agreement binding if allowing people to break it upholds something more sacred than insisting they keep it. You could argue that sexual freedom is something sacred, that it's more important than a promise to be faithful.

While I wouldn't encourage people to cheat, I don't approve of the reflexive moral condemnation of it many people express either.
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