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Old March 2nd, 2012, 02:40 PM   #1

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Your son tells you he's gay..


We are not sure why it happens, but it does.

We know it is not the result of an amoral upbringing.

Of course this is hypothetical, but what would you do if your teenage son came to you and said,

"I think I might be gay..."
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 02:43 PM   #2

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I'd say: Me too, so who the hell are you?
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 02:43 PM   #3

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If he thinks, and does not know, I tell him to sort stuff out. If he knows I will support him all the way but deep down inside I would be slightly disappointed.
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 02:49 PM   #4

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Seriously,

I would feel sorry, for he will be treated differently and he will be discriminated against. But I would tell him that he should be okay with who he is and try to turn this difference into an opportunity. I know it's easier to accept LGBTT people when they are not related to you because you don't accept them, you just tolerate them (some people). But when it is your son or daughter, it may be different,. LGBTT people suffer a lot and I would not like my son to go through that. However, I would do anything to protect him.

Last edited by Afrasiyab; March 2nd, 2012 at 02:58 PM.
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 02:52 PM   #5

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By the way larkin, did your son tell you he was gay? Why this topic?
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 03:05 PM   #6

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I would say, "Get out!........and be the best gay guy you can be!"

No. Why not a daughter who is a lesbian?

I really wouldn't care at all. I'd hope that my son would know before he came out that I'd love him no matter what.
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 03:07 PM   #7

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I'd be like if my son told me that he likes skydiving. "Ok, cool. Have fun and be safe"
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 03:08 PM   #8
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He better act like a normal male around me or get used to living on his own.
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 03:14 PM   #9

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Quote:
Originally Posted by larkin View Post
We are not sure why it happens, but it does.

We know it is not the result of an amoral upbringing.

Of course this is hypothetical, but what would you do if your teenage son came to you and said,

"I think I might be gay..."
First of all, I dislike hypothetical questions like this simply because no matter what I might say I might do "if such-and-such happens . . ." when the event comes my feelings about it take over.

Quite a few years ago, before I was married and when the gay-lib movement was quite new, a 14-year-old boy scout came to me. He started with "Scouter, are you homosexual?"

I was startled and a little offended, but I knew the boy well and knew he was serious. I said, "No, why?"

The conversation circled around to himself and his own insecurities and the fact he'd never dated a girl. I told him that I hadn't either at his age and that such self-doubts are fairly common for boys. I told him that he might seek counselling (and suggested where since he would not discuss it with his dad). I also told him that one way of being fairly sure is that if he fantasizes about boys when he masturbates, then he has homosexual tendencies. (I believed that and still tend to.) In this particular case he responded with instant relief. With my casual mention of masturbation he let me know that he had recently been doing that and felt terrible about it.

Based on this experience, I think that's how I would handle the issue with my own son if I had a son, or with my daughters if they hadn't been so obviously boy crazy when the right time came (different for each of them). But still, I knew the boy and his seriousness and introspectiveness and if I had a son, he would have been a different person and our relationship would have been more personal. What can I be sure of?
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Old March 2nd, 2012, 03:25 PM   #10

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Afrasiyab View Post
By the way larkin, did your son tell you he was gay? Why this topic?
It's a fair question..
I don't have any kids. This thread is a spin off from the disparaging comments from the Russian anti-gay propaganda law thread in current events.

If I did have a son, I think I would only be bothered when he brought his boyfriend home for me to meet. It might be a little unsettling at first but I can't change anyone but myself.

I asked this question because some of you might be faced with a situation like that. It is not a bad thing to consider it a 1 in 10 possibility and how you might cope with it.

Last edited by larkin; March 2nd, 2012 at 03:31 PM.
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