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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:20 PM   #1

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Why do compliments mean so much to us?


Some of us say we don't care if others complement us or not, but here is proof that that's not the case. We all want/need compliments. Why?



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According to Professor Sadato, "To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money. We've been able to find scientific proof that a person performs better when they receive a social reward after completing an exercise. There seems to be scientific validity behind the message 'praise to encourage improvement'. Complimenting someone could become an easy and effective strategy to use in the classroom and during rehabilitation."
A scientific explanation to why people perform better after receiving a compliment
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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:25 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Jake10 View Post
Some of us say we don't care if others complement us or not, but here is proof that that's not the case. We all want/need compliments. Why?





A scientific explanation to why people perform better after receiving a compliment
I am someone who receives a lot of compliments about my performance at work. I am not really a self confident person in many situations, and that is one of them. I feel embarrassed when I am complimented, but yet I still crave that very recognition. How screwed up is that?
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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:34 PM   #3

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That's really a great question, Jake. Well done, keep up the good work!
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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:35 PM   #4

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Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
I am someone who receives a lot of compliments about my performance at work. I am not really a self confident person in many situations, and that is one of them. I feel embarrassed when I am complimented, but yet I still crave that very recognition. How screwed up is that?
Does it come down to a sense that our efforts benefit society? Is it a need to belong?
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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:35 PM   #5

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That's really a great question, Jake. Well done, keep up the good work!

Thank you, sir, you just made my day.
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Old November 9th, 2012, 04:58 PM   #6

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Often the simplest of things serve me as a compliment, plus
a simple pat on the back from our bosses, goes a long way in
morale.
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Old November 9th, 2012, 05:12 PM   #7
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sometimes i need compliments then i am a bit embarrassed when i relieve them...
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Old November 9th, 2012, 05:12 PM   #8

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Nice thread

Personally I'd attribute it to some very basic and primal feelings such as the need to belong and be accepted by the 'tribe' and the need to be loved and to reproduce... compliments make us feel good about ourselves, that we stand a better chance of satisfying these basic needs. I expect that brain chemistry is involved, such as serotonin or endorphins.

I'm sure there are other views though, it'll be interesting to see how the thread develops.

I'd be interested to learn more about the research too such as how the subject group were chosen and what if any controls were used... I daresay we all know people who do appear to be genuinely indifferent or even react badly to compliments, for whatever reasons.
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Old November 9th, 2012, 05:12 PM   #9

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It's a little pat on the back to let us know we've done good. Every human has the desire to be right and most have the desire to fit in, every compliment lets us know that we fit in, and are doing the right thing. If we do the wrong thing then are actions are punished and we become isolated, the whole thing is evolutionary psychology. If you fitted in with a tribe then you're more likely to survive and pass on your genes.
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Old November 9th, 2012, 05:15 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Jake10 View Post
Does it come down to a sense that our efforts benefit society? Is it a need to belong?
For me I think it comes down to knowing I could have done so much more with my life, even if it was all for myself. I don't really think about benefits to society, maybe because on some level I am disappointed that I am not the captain of an Aircraft Carrier, which is what I wanted to be when I was growing up.
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