Do you seek rivalries? - Historum

**Jake10** · September 8th, 2014, 03:43 PM

Do rivalries help us perform better? What are the positive and negative aspects of them?

Quote:

A recent study from psychological scientist Gavin J. Kilduff of New York University found that not only do people report higher performance when competing against their rivals, but that rivalry actually improved race times for long-distance runners.

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**Salah** · September 8th, 2014, 04:00 PM

I avoid them unless they're forced on me.

Fireatwill · September 8th, 2014, 04:03 PM

Jake, do you think by seeking a rival and then treating someone as a rival, one admits that the rival is 'better', otherwise why seek them as a rival in the first place?

By saying someone is a rival, it means, one shares the same goal as that person, in other words, one is following someone else. This is one of the reasons I have never treated anyone as a rival. I treat people as either friends or strangers.

**constantine** · September 8th, 2014, 04:05 PM

I generally won't seek them out, but I don't much like turning down a (realistic) challenge either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireatwill

Jake, do you think by seeking a rival and then treating someone as a rival, one admits that the rival is 'better', otherwise why seek them as a rival in the first place?

By saying someone is a rival, it means, one shares the same goal as that person, in other words, one is following someone else. This is one of the reasons I have never treated anyone as a rival. I treat people as either friends or strangers.

I think it's recognition that they're an equal. You're not going to rival someone who completely outclasses you any more than you will rival someone you completely outclass.

**Jake10** · September 8th, 2014, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salah

I avoid them unless they're forced on me.

So do I. I've seen too many rivalries turn ugly.

**Jake10** · September 8th, 2014, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireatwill

Jake, do you think by seeking a rival and then treating someone as a rival, one admits that the rival is 'better', otherwise why seek them as a rival in the first place?

By saying someone is a rival, it means, one shares the same goal as that person, in other words, one is following someone else. This is one of the reasons I have never treated anyone as a rival. I treat people as either friends or strangers.

No, I don't think that a person seeking a rival admits that the rival is better, but the person does admit that the rival is a worthy opponent.

Fireatwill · September 8th, 2014, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake10

No, I don't think that a person seeking a rival admits that the rival is better, but the person does admit that the rival is a worthy opponent.

Do you think, having a rival is like a having a friend, and thus something to do, competition, fun, giggles and laughs?

In other words, seeking a rival is motivated by loneliness?

**Jake10** · September 8th, 2014, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireatwill

Do you think, having a rival is like a having a friend, and thus something to do, competition, fun, giggles and laughs?

In other words, seeking a rival is motivated by loneliness?

I think people seek rivalries for different reasons, but friendship and loneliness would be low on the list.

Primarily, rivalries come from competition, be it at work, sports or school. They take many different forms. For instance, a very attractive girl may feel that another girl is stealing the spotlight from her, and a rivalry is born. It basically comes down to to people or groups trying to outperform one another.

**R5 plus** · September 8th, 2014, 04:19 PM

I might seek out a "fun" rival on occasion. Like playing my dad at Scrabble, there's some good-hearted ribbing going on, but none of it is meant to harm anyone or make them feel bad.

Occasionally, I do seem to get a "rivalry vibe" with someone that's not so good natured. If possible I try to avoid those situations. I don't know why, but I seem to notice this around moms a fair amount - it's one reason I avoid mom forums. There tends to be a "I'm a better mom than you" mentality. I don't get it, and yet, occasionally I'll find myself doing the same thing. Ugh! I hate that.

Fireatwill · September 8th, 2014, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake10

I think people seek rivalries for different reasons, but friendship and loneliness would be low on the list.

Primarily, rivalries come from competition, be it at work, sports or school. They take many different forms. For instance, a very attractive girl may feel that another girl is stealing the spotlight from her, and a rivalry is born. It basically comes down to to people or groups trying to outperform one another.

Is it possible to live without rivalry?