relations between employers and their servants varied, but there was a greater distance generally between them than there had been in earlier centuries. the victorians emphasised the difference more strongly than people in earlier times had done, and this tendency continued in the early 20th century. Domestic service was not seen as a very desirable occupation, and girls preferd to go into other forms of work if they could get them.
A rich man who chose to marry a servant would certainly be considered to have made a poor choice of wife by most people of his class. however, traditionally a woman has taken on her husband's status, and if a Duke for instance married a servant girl she would be a Duchess, no matter what other people thought of her. Some servants would be more likely to fit in with upper class life. A lady's maid usually had a rather better education than other female servants were likely to, she would have spent a lot of time in the company of her mistress and would have quite polished manners. She would find it easier to adapt than most other servants would.
The other servants in the household would probably have mixed feelings about her position. Some of them might be glad for her good fortune, others might resent the fact that she had been raised above them, and some might be sceptical as to whether she would be really happy in her new role. Some servants were very snobbish, senior servants in particular tended to identify with their employers, and a butler or housekeeper for instance might be acutely conscious that their employer had lowered himself by marrying a servant instead of 'a lady'. 'Not what I've been used to' was a phrase often used by a servant who found him or herself having to wait on someone they considered a bit inferior socially.
