Hilarious British War Songs!

Zhang LaoYong · Oct 27, 2014

I guess it must be the amount of Hitler and WWII Nazi threads around here (normal for a history site I guess), but I was thinking about this hilarious song I heard at a WWII reenactment battle down in Austin, Texas:

"Hitler Has Only Got One Ball"

Hitler, has only got one ball,
Göring, has two but they are small,
Himmler, has something sim'ler,
And poor Göbbels has no balls at all.

I looked online and there are quite a few variations of this WWII British tune. That got me thinking, those cheeky Brits are always pretty clever and downright hilarious (I am addicted to British comedies) so y'all must have a bunch more funny war songs about either your enemy or the higher ups in your chain of command, right?

Do any of you brothers or sisters across the pond have any more that you can share? Anybody else from another part of the world have any? Please, nothing that is offensive, or too offensive, Big Brother is watching after all.

Sam-Nary · Oct 27, 2014

The best British war songs I've ever heard were all in recordings in a documentary on World War I, including...

"I want a life, I want a life,
Living in a trench.
I want a life, I want a life,
Fighting for the French.
We haven't got a wife or our own little wench,
We're quite happy in an old French trench."

It was sung to the melody of Alexander's Ragtime Band in the documentary.

The the better one, in the same documentary, was "For Gawd's Sake Don't Send Me," but I can't remember all the words exactly...

PrinceofOrange · Oct 27, 2014

Belgium put the kibosh on the kaiser

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt7xJdKfIMM

Earl_of_Rochester · Oct 27, 2014

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sKdLvlf9CI"]Hunting the Hun - YouTube[/ame]

Hunting the Hun from WW1.

Post WW2, Fawlty Towers classic:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0"]Don't Mention the War! - Fawlty Towers - BBC - YouTube[/ame]

The Lambeth Walk (WW2 dance) Nazi style 1941:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYdmk3GP3iM"]Lambeth Walk: Nazi Style - by Charles A. Ridley (1941) - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKgHUrKZiXA"]Monty Python's Flying Circus: Mr. Hilter - YouTube[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfyHUrL2O6g[/ame]

Post WW2 Monty Python sketch.

It's always been a popular saying in England that the Germans have no sense of humour

Pendennis · Oct 27, 2014

''W'ere gonna hang out the Washing on the Siegfried Line '' was a popular song by the Tommies in France during the ''Phoney War'' period before Dunkirk-1939-40 as was ''Kiss me good night Sergeant- Major'' which featured conscripts singing this to their Sergeant Major.

Pendennis · Oct 27, 2014

P.S That line about Goebbels alleged testicular deficit was way off the mark.He fathered five or six kids. whom he and his missus Magda murdered in the Hitler bunker as the Soviets approached.

Zhang LaoYong · Oct 27, 2014

You all are awesome, thanks for the replies! I had a feeling there would be quite a bit from the 2 world wars -- much hilarity at the Germans' expense. Does anyone know of some from older times? Please don't stop posting these great ones from WWI and WWII, but I was wondering how far back this went? Any from, say, Crimean War? Napoleonic Wars? Even about my boys here from the 1812 or our own Revolutionary War? What about way back during the English Civil War?

Hans321 · Oct 27, 2014

PrinceofOrange said:
It's always been a popular saying in England that the Germans have no sense of humour

It's difficult to compete with the cheeky cleverness and hilarious wit of singing that an enemy has small balls. I couldn't come up with such a thing in a hundred years full of Sundays.

German humour is like bat's piss in comparison to that.

Pendennis · Oct 27, 2014

My schoolboy mates and I used to sing a song to ther tune of the hymn ''WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS'' WHICH WAS ABOUT A DYING WOUNDED British soldier's dying request to his comrades in battle to avenge him. .It went like -
''If you see a German soldier stick a bayonet up his- holy moses I am dying
Just a word before I go
If you see a German soldier stick up a bayonet up his- holy moses I am dying...''etc etc..
The 1969 Richard Attenborough film ''OH WHAT A LOVELY WAR' had a scene in which during a church parade a single British Tommy sang to the same ''WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS'' tune-
'WHEN this lousy war is over and I've got my civvies on I will kiss the Sergeant Major-Iive forgotten the rest of the lyric.

jackydee · Oct 28, 2014

Pendennis said:
''W'ere gonna hang out the Washing on the Siegfried Line '' was a popular song by the Tommies in France during the ''Phoney War'' period before Dunkirk-1939-40 as was ''Kiss me good night Sergeant- Major'' which featured conscripts singing this to their Sergeant Major.

Good shout. A terrific song.

I seem to have lost the ability to embed videos. What am I doing wrong? Anyway, here's a link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3WPted_ihs

There's also Run Rabbit Run. Im not sure if it's a war song as such but was popular during WWII.

Triceratops · Oct 28, 2014

jackydee said:
Good shout. A terrific song.

I seem to have lost the ability to embed videos. What am I doing wrong? Anyway, here's a link.

UK Marching Song "We' re Gonna Hang Out The Washing On The Siegfried Line" - YouTube

There's also Run Rabbit Run. Im not sure if it's a war song as such but was popular during WWII.

Jacky, lose the "s" from the https

Run Rabbit Run, was a dig at the Luftwaffe. The first German air raid was against the flying boat base at Sullum Voe in the Shetlands. The bombs missed completely but killed some bunnies. That's the story at any rate.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVdoZNxtL8k"]Run Rabbit Run - Flanagan & Allen - YouTube[/ame]

Triceratops · Oct 28, 2014

Zhang LaoYong said:
You all are awesome, thanks for the replies! I had a feeling there would be quite a bit from the 2 world wars -- much hilarity at the Germans' expense. Does anyone know of some from older times? Please don't stop posting these great ones from WWI and WWII, but I was wondering how far back this went? Any from, say, Crimean War? Napoleonic Wars? Even about my boys here from the 1812 or our own Revolutionary War? What about way back during the English Civil War?

Zhang, this is a sea shanty about Napoleon;

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrjl2h4Zo5U"]Boney was a Warrior - YouTube[/ame]

Vladd · Oct 28, 2014

Wasn't Yankee doodle dandy first sung by British troops making fun of the unsophisticated Americans?

Sam-Nary · Oct 28, 2014

Vladd said:
Wasn't Yankee doodle dandy first sung by British troops making fun of the unsophisticated Americans?

Little did they know what their humor would create...

Brisieis · Oct 28, 2014

Zhang LaoYong said:
I guess it must be the amount of Hitler and WWII Nazi threads around here (normal for a history site I guess), but I was thinking about this hilarious song I heard at a WWII reenactment battle down in Austin, Texas:

"Hitler Has Only Got One Ball"

Hitler, has only got one ball,
Göring, has two but they are small,
Himmler, has something sim'ler,
And poor Göbbels has no balls at all.

I looked online and there are quite a few variations of this WWII British tune. That got me thinking, those cheeky Brits are always pretty clever and downright hilarious (I am addicted to British comedies) so y'all must have a bunch more funny war songs about either your enemy or the higher ups in your chain of command, right?

Do any of you brothers or sisters across the pond have any more that you can share? Anybody else from another part of the world have any? Please, nothing that is offensive, or too offensive, Big Brother is watching after all.

We sang this at school age but the lyrics were different.

PrinceofOrange · Oct 28, 2014

Hans321 said:
It's difficult to compete with the cheeky cleverness and hilarious wit of singing that an enemy has small balls. I couldn't come up with such a thing in a hundred years full of Sundays.

German humour is like bat's piss in comparison to that.

Help me out here. When and where did I say that?

Vladd · Oct 28, 2014

Brisieis said:
We sang this at school age but the lyrics were different.

Was the Albert Hall mentioned by any chance?

Brisieis · Oct 28, 2014

Vladd said:
Was the Albert Hall mentioned by any chance?

I have no idea, the only thing which I remember is the line about one ball.

Vladd · Oct 28, 2014

I thought it might be this version

Hitler has got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His Mother, the dirty bugger
Cut off the other
When he was small

Of course don't forget the song that led to Don't tell him Pike

Whistle while you work
Hitler is a twerp
He's halfbarmy
so's his army
Whistle while you work

Brisieis · Oct 28, 2014

Vladd said:
I thought it might be this version

Hitler has got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His Mother, the dirty bugger
Cut off the other
When he was small

Quite possibly because I don't recall the names of the other nazis being in the song.

Vladd said:
Of course don't forget the song that led to Don't tell him Pike

Whistle while you work
Hitler is a twerp
He's halfbarmy
so's his army
Whistle while you work

Oh my I remember this too. Is this thread designed to make us all feel old? I wasn't even alive during WW2. Geez!

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Hilarious British War Songs!

Zhang LaoYong

Sam-Nary

PrinceofOrange

Earl_of_Rochester

Pendennis

Pendennis

Zhang LaoYong

Hans321

Pendennis

jackydee

Triceratops

Triceratops

Vladd

Sam-Nary

Brisieis

PrinceofOrange

Vladd

Brisieis

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